Here we are. Just a week or so, over the month mark of being single. I am doing 90% better!
Everybody's waiting Everybody's watching Even when you're sleeping Keep your eye, eyes open
The tricky thing is Yesterday we were just children Playing soldiers, just pretending Dreaming dreams with happy endings In backyards,Winning battles with the wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world Where everybody stands up,And keeps score
Keep your eyes open Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown Everybody's watching To see the fallout Even when you're sleeping, sleeping Keep your eye, eyes open
So here you are, Two steps ahead and staying on guard,Every lesson forms a new scar
They never thought you'd make it this farBut turn around Now they've surrounded you
It's a showdown And nobody comes to save you now But you got something they dont
just gotta keep your eyes open Everybody's waiting For you to breakdown Everybody's watchingTo see the fallout Even when you're sleeping, sleeping Keep your eye, eyes open Keep your feet ready Heartbeat steady Keep your eyes open Keep your aim locked The night grows dark
- Taylor Swift
I am back into eating - unfortunately, it's not healthy. Im focusing on at least 2.5 meals a day, which is amazing for me, but its not the best choices. I am back to sleeping - but Im still pretty worn out. I think the jet-lag is finally settling. I am back at the GYM! [no "buts" follow that one] Ive stuck to it nearly everday - making sure a job or an actual run makes it way into the routine, EVERY time. Im maintaining my weight loss - but id like to scoot past it.
That'll take me getting back into fruits/veggies only. Ive been on the go A LOT since I got back from Egypt -- and at the hands of my family or my ex. They've either been cooking or bringing me food. Overall - my portions are great and luckily my stomach cant handle most of the processed food that I wasnt eating over in Egypt - so I have a legit excuse to say, this much is enough thank you.
Emotionally - Im a lot stronger. I think it helps that ultimately I did not lose my ex. He didnt decide to walk away from me as a friend/person. He didnt end up with the bartender girl - nor try to find someone else. He didnt up and pack our pups - and just move away. He's still local but is going to be moving regardless. We are very much over our landlords. We've been extremely close and happy. As he put it the other day.... " We are becoming the friends we never were when we met, most people dont have what we have". He's very right.
Moving on is hard...mainly because I am not strong enough to trust someone else. Every time someone says something to me, my mind goes, "oh, thats a lie" "okay another lie" "really?! youre lying". Most of the time its right - which sucks even more. But, other times, I think its just my overreacting mind on guard. Im treading slowly...but its very hard. Im ready to be HAPPY and living fully.
Im getting there....slowly.
Everybody's waiting Everybody's watching Even when you're sleeping Keep your eye, eyes open
The tricky thing is Yesterday we were just children Playing soldiers, just pretending Dreaming dreams with happy endings In backyards,Winning battles with the wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world Where everybody stands up,And keeps score
Keep your eyes open Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown Everybody's watching To see the fallout Even when you're sleeping, sleeping Keep your eye, eyes open
So here you are, Two steps ahead and staying on guard,Every lesson forms a new scar
They never thought you'd make it this farBut turn around Now they've surrounded you
It's a showdown And nobody comes to save you now But you got something they dont
just gotta keep your eyes open Everybody's waiting For you to breakdown Everybody's watchingTo see the fallout Even when you're sleeping, sleeping Keep your eye, eyes open Keep your feet ready Heartbeat steady Keep your eyes open Keep your aim locked The night grows dark
- Taylor Swift
I am back into eating - unfortunately, it's not healthy. Im focusing on at least 2.5 meals a day, which is amazing for me, but its not the best choices. I am back to sleeping - but Im still pretty worn out. I think the jet-lag is finally settling. I am back at the GYM! [no "buts" follow that one] Ive stuck to it nearly everday - making sure a job or an actual run makes it way into the routine, EVERY time. Im maintaining my weight loss - but id like to scoot past it.
That'll take me getting back into fruits/veggies only. Ive been on the go A LOT since I got back from Egypt -- and at the hands of my family or my ex. They've either been cooking or bringing me food. Overall - my portions are great and luckily my stomach cant handle most of the processed food that I wasnt eating over in Egypt - so I have a legit excuse to say, this much is enough thank you.
Emotionally - Im a lot stronger. I think it helps that ultimately I did not lose my ex. He didnt decide to walk away from me as a friend/person. He didnt end up with the bartender girl - nor try to find someone else. He didnt up and pack our pups - and just move away. He's still local but is going to be moving regardless. We are very much over our landlords. We've been extremely close and happy. As he put it the other day.... " We are becoming the friends we never were when we met, most people dont have what we have". He's very right.
Moving on is hard...mainly because I am not strong enough to trust someone else. Every time someone says something to me, my mind goes, "oh, thats a lie" "okay another lie" "really?! youre lying". Most of the time its right - which sucks even more. But, other times, I think its just my overreacting mind on guard. Im treading slowly...but its very hard. Im ready to be HAPPY and living fully.
Im getting there....slowly.
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