So here we are...a bit over three months later of being single. It's probably the weirdest thing to say out loud. It still hasnt fully hit me - other than the obvious signs. As of right now - I do not enjoy dating. It makes absolutely no sense to me.
Im basically supposed to believe anything/everything you say to me or have via FB or other social networking sites. Even looking at my own -- I think i'd have the wrong impression of who "Chanel" was based upon Facebook. My appearance changes way too much - my status' are super random and constant...IDK Id be a little off put. Haha. Maybe people are....Who cares. lol
Thats my other problem...I dont really dwell on the issue of someone not liking me. Im not full of myself but honestly - unless im seriously out of line or rude as fuck [which I tend to hold only for certain people] - then you really shouldnt be judging or having an issue with me.
Jimmy's friends for example - drive me up the fucking wall. Everytime he talks with them - he has to run outside or go somewhere quiet so they wont know we are hanging out - so he doesnt have to hear their crap. Its annoying because if they just hop on their Facebook's - which all 3 of them are friends with me - they'd see we are clearly hanging out. Jimmy says they dont like me because Im controlling... uhh what a fucking joke that is. Unless it's Jimmy's idea - it doesnt happen. Even back in the day - when he'd blow them off or not get back to them - It was never me saying, "ugh dont hang with them" it was HIM saying he didnt feel like it but didnt want to blow them off - but then he'd end up blowing them off anyways. OF course - the fingers got pointed my way. I really liked the guys - but it was never sent back my way. Which is whatever - now that I know them - fuck it. Not worth my friendship anyways. Years ago - I decided I was DONE with all of them - they would tell Jimmy to leave me [now, its one thing if these guys were always around Jimmy and saw I was an annoying person - but we hadnt been around them in MONTHS - if not longer] and had an 'intervention'. So I called each and every one of them out...and what do you know...I was spot on.
I called Mark out about marrying someone he wasnt in love with - saying he liked the partying and hanging too much - that he'd be more likely to end up with a client. WELL HERE WE ARE...Mark ended up filing for divorce within the first year and ended up - and is still with, what was, a client. And...I was HER client years ago. Small world. But he seems happy - and does his ex - so all is great!
I called Bryant out on dating younger girls he couldnt stand - and bitching about them constantly. If you want a real woman - who isnt all about drama - date your own age or older - or at least mature. I called him out on acting as if he was Jimmy's girlfriend. Always whining and crying if Jimmy canceled or couldnt make plans. Now,JImmy did this often - but Bryant's a big boy - he can get over it. After knowing Jimmy for this long - why is it even shocking at this point?? WELL HERE WE ARE - him and the girl didnt even last longer than Mark's marriage - and they never spoke again. He had a short term relationship -- and is now single and still pretty cynical about Jimmy's choices - SURPRISE SURPISE, jackass.
I called the other Mark out on only one thing personally and one thing via Jimmy. I said he misjudges people and doesnt give them the right chance. He blamed me for something that took place - that A. Didnt involve him, B. he had NO proof of, C. didnt even ASK or GET involved - just made side judgements, yea, fuck you buddy. The thing Jimmy constantly complained about - was that he changed for other people he dated. Never staying true to himself. SO i said my piece about that. WELL HERE WE ARE -- over a year and some months later -- he saw Jimmy working and apologized - then wrote me and apologized. We saw him and his most recent girl - who I remained in touch with trough the whole "no talking" year - and all was well. UNTIL - Jimmy and I broke it off - now its like im exiled. Hes even trying to hook Jimmy up with one her friends -- but the only asian's he'll date are porno style...so good luck with that.
REGARDLESS....It's annoying that 4 years into all this -- he still cant stand up to these guys. The morning after the wedding - he and I were out in the backyard with the pups talking and he said, he had a long talk to Bryant about the fact that he doesnt know where He and I stand right now and that hes working it out. I gave him this look - cause he says one thing and its usually the complete opposite. Bryant will make snide remarks about me driving him -- and Im pretty sure the guys are under the impression that Im choosing to stay here on strict terms of being the driver. That's a joke in it of itself.
I told Jimmy he needs to learn to tell them the truth...cause if/when they find out all these secrets are here - they arent going to stick around, yet again. He says what does it matter if they know - they wont believe or care or stop giving him grief...but I feel otherwise. I feel as if - they may not be happy about it - but they'd respect him. At least, Id expect that from my close friends.
IDK What's happening at this point...we are both single. We are both still in love - and verbalize that often. It's just starting to come to the fork in the road - where we need to decide what's up. We can either stay friends and try to bit the bullet when the real dating of others begins or just realize what we have in each other.
Yesterday, I had a breakdown. He had told me a couple nights prior that he was going to start talking with a bridesmaid - the one Mark and Ana wanted him to hook up with. I asked him what he meant by talking - I assumed he meant dating - he said no, talking like a texting friend. I realized, Jimmy really wanted his own friends. He got her number yesterday from Mark - and asked me if I was sad. I sat there thinking...was I sad? We began texting back and forth about it - I didnt feel sad ab his need or interest in making new friends - especially girl ones. I had plenty of both - and he had a lot mine in common. What does make me sad - is the thought of us finally dating other people and moving apart.
He wrote me saying "IDK What to say, its really hard for me to hear about the guys that you go out with". We are both stuck...we both want freedom and fun - but I dont think we honestly see it in other people.
For me...
Im quirky...I like simple things in life. I laugh a lot - I cry a lot. I enjoy food, working out and being out and about. Almost every guy I have dated or am dating/talking to - they dont really....they are pretty narrow minded, say No a lot, and just...IDK...kinda dull.
For Jimmy
He's a punk. He can be such a brat and mean - but then this cuddly sweet bear afterwards. He likes eating, a lot of junk especially, mellowing, relaxing and being a bum. He loves video games [he actually stayed up overnight], he likes smoking up [wont date anyone who doesnt approve of that] and is very shallow with his tastes. Most girls hes going to meet - will want to be wined and dined - and Im only saying this by who catches his eye. He hates girls that only want money or to be treated out all the time - he likes independence in women.
So we....idk....i dont think we've realized how much we DO like in each other since we are always picking on each other.
We've got a lot to learn....
Im basically supposed to believe anything/everything you say to me or have via FB or other social networking sites. Even looking at my own -- I think i'd have the wrong impression of who "Chanel" was based upon Facebook. My appearance changes way too much - my status' are super random and constant...IDK Id be a little off put. Haha. Maybe people are....Who cares. lol
Thats my other problem...I dont really dwell on the issue of someone not liking me. Im not full of myself but honestly - unless im seriously out of line or rude as fuck [which I tend to hold only for certain people] - then you really shouldnt be judging or having an issue with me.
Jimmy's friends for example - drive me up the fucking wall. Everytime he talks with them - he has to run outside or go somewhere quiet so they wont know we are hanging out - so he doesnt have to hear their crap. Its annoying because if they just hop on their Facebook's - which all 3 of them are friends with me - they'd see we are clearly hanging out. Jimmy says they dont like me because Im controlling... uhh what a fucking joke that is. Unless it's Jimmy's idea - it doesnt happen. Even back in the day - when he'd blow them off or not get back to them - It was never me saying, "ugh dont hang with them" it was HIM saying he didnt feel like it but didnt want to blow them off - but then he'd end up blowing them off anyways. OF course - the fingers got pointed my way. I really liked the guys - but it was never sent back my way. Which is whatever - now that I know them - fuck it. Not worth my friendship anyways. Years ago - I decided I was DONE with all of them - they would tell Jimmy to leave me [now, its one thing if these guys were always around Jimmy and saw I was an annoying person - but we hadnt been around them in MONTHS - if not longer] and had an 'intervention'. So I called each and every one of them out...and what do you know...I was spot on.
I called Mark out about marrying someone he wasnt in love with - saying he liked the partying and hanging too much - that he'd be more likely to end up with a client. WELL HERE WE ARE...Mark ended up filing for divorce within the first year and ended up - and is still with, what was, a client. And...I was HER client years ago. Small world. But he seems happy - and does his ex - so all is great!
I called Bryant out on dating younger girls he couldnt stand - and bitching about them constantly. If you want a real woman - who isnt all about drama - date your own age or older - or at least mature. I called him out on acting as if he was Jimmy's girlfriend. Always whining and crying if Jimmy canceled or couldnt make plans. Now,JImmy did this often - but Bryant's a big boy - he can get over it. After knowing Jimmy for this long - why is it even shocking at this point?? WELL HERE WE ARE - him and the girl didnt even last longer than Mark's marriage - and they never spoke again. He had a short term relationship -- and is now single and still pretty cynical about Jimmy's choices - SURPRISE SURPISE, jackass.
I called the other Mark out on only one thing personally and one thing via Jimmy. I said he misjudges people and doesnt give them the right chance. He blamed me for something that took place - that A. Didnt involve him, B. he had NO proof of, C. didnt even ASK or GET involved - just made side judgements, yea, fuck you buddy. The thing Jimmy constantly complained about - was that he changed for other people he dated. Never staying true to himself. SO i said my piece about that. WELL HERE WE ARE -- over a year and some months later -- he saw Jimmy working and apologized - then wrote me and apologized. We saw him and his most recent girl - who I remained in touch with trough the whole "no talking" year - and all was well. UNTIL - Jimmy and I broke it off - now its like im exiled. Hes even trying to hook Jimmy up with one her friends -- but the only asian's he'll date are porno style...so good luck with that.
REGARDLESS....It's annoying that 4 years into all this -- he still cant stand up to these guys. The morning after the wedding - he and I were out in the backyard with the pups talking and he said, he had a long talk to Bryant about the fact that he doesnt know where He and I stand right now and that hes working it out. I gave him this look - cause he says one thing and its usually the complete opposite. Bryant will make snide remarks about me driving him -- and Im pretty sure the guys are under the impression that Im choosing to stay here on strict terms of being the driver. That's a joke in it of itself.
I told Jimmy he needs to learn to tell them the truth...cause if/when they find out all these secrets are here - they arent going to stick around, yet again. He says what does it matter if they know - they wont believe or care or stop giving him grief...but I feel otherwise. I feel as if - they may not be happy about it - but they'd respect him. At least, Id expect that from my close friends.
IDK What's happening at this point...we are both single. We are both still in love - and verbalize that often. It's just starting to come to the fork in the road - where we need to decide what's up. We can either stay friends and try to bit the bullet when the real dating of others begins or just realize what we have in each other.
Yesterday, I had a breakdown. He had told me a couple nights prior that he was going to start talking with a bridesmaid - the one Mark and Ana wanted him to hook up with. I asked him what he meant by talking - I assumed he meant dating - he said no, talking like a texting friend. I realized, Jimmy really wanted his own friends. He got her number yesterday from Mark - and asked me if I was sad. I sat there thinking...was I sad? We began texting back and forth about it - I didnt feel sad ab his need or interest in making new friends - especially girl ones. I had plenty of both - and he had a lot mine in common. What does make me sad - is the thought of us finally dating other people and moving apart.
He wrote me saying "IDK What to say, its really hard for me to hear about the guys that you go out with". We are both stuck...we both want freedom and fun - but I dont think we honestly see it in other people.
For me...
Im quirky...I like simple things in life. I laugh a lot - I cry a lot. I enjoy food, working out and being out and about. Almost every guy I have dated or am dating/talking to - they dont really....they are pretty narrow minded, say No a lot, and just...IDK...kinda dull.
For Jimmy
He's a punk. He can be such a brat and mean - but then this cuddly sweet bear afterwards. He likes eating, a lot of junk especially, mellowing, relaxing and being a bum. He loves video games [he actually stayed up overnight], he likes smoking up [wont date anyone who doesnt approve of that] and is very shallow with his tastes. Most girls hes going to meet - will want to be wined and dined - and Im only saying this by who catches his eye. He hates girls that only want money or to be treated out all the time - he likes independence in women.
So we....idk....i dont think we've realized how much we DO like in each other since we are always picking on each other.
We've got a lot to learn....
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