On Wednesday Night...Jimmy and I took the evening to just be home and relax. I had the longest day ever...and just needed to unwind. We ended up watching random movies on tv, relaxing and talking. He even worked on his comedy bit for awhile. Before we knew it - it was past 2am. I decided to head to bed - soon to be joined by him. A super amazing intimate moment took place...[no details on this blog] and it was perfect in any way you could describe it. From the looks to the kissing to the connection. It was all there - no holds bar. I stayed awake later then he did - thinking about it. Right as I turned off the lights - his hand grabbed mine. He held it the entire night - even when I'd turn over or move my hand - he'd come find it. By morning - he was snuggled up and stayed that way. His alarms went off - he even came back in bed for more snuggling.
THAT MORNING:
Jimmy and I took the morning to get court related issues handled. We agreed upon going to The Breakfast Shoppe to enjoy his 'last meal' before the potential of going to jail because of his license issue. Over breakfast - we talked about a bunch of random things.
Ultimately - it led to a conversation about our relationship.
He told me - if I was to ask him back out - he'd possibly say yes. He also said, he was afraid things would change...in general terms - he claimed I may not stay as 'cool' as I am now or that we'd have to force ourselves to move in again. I explained I wanted the opposite. It'd be best to not live together again - not until we fully decide to commit. He commented, "You basically already do". I nodded - since every night...minus maybe 2 or 3 instances where he just didnt come home - We've spent the night together. I also explained - its different because he's now "purchased" all our old shared furniture or my old stuff. Everything that physically belongs to me - other than some clothes - is at my mom's place.
I told him - nothing of mine 'lives' there, for the sheer reasoning of..we dont know where we are right now.
I brought up our intimacy from the night prior. Explaining - he kissed me for a good fifteen straight minutes...and in such a way - that people in passionate love would kiss. He nodded and said he felt that too. The connection between us has been so hard to grasp and understand.
My head was starting to swirl...questioning everything we had been doing.
I called him out. Explaining he chose to use his 'relaxation methods' as an excuse to make a move and take things somewhere. He laughed and said, he knows. I told him its something I can see past. Something I wish he wouldnt feel necessary, but at the same time, its half a compliment - half an insult.
We enjoyed our breakfast - barely surviving it.
I lightly joked about the fact that he had been so cute and intimate with me overnight and into today. He just kinda laughed and made a silent note of it.
Court went well - we decided to see his mom afterwards. It was my Dad's birthday - and we were doing crabs and porkchops for dinner. He had already mentioned he was exhausted and needed a nap - but for some reason - he said he'd definitely go. We even went back to get the pups and he played some MLB. He was extremely talkative and enjoyed being around my whole family.
It gave me the twinge of pain - realizing....this is what I want. Happy moments, memories and someone to be there alongside of me. We stayed pretty late - til it was time to go to watch the Finals game at our place.
We got in - and flipped between video games and the Finals. I was pretty exhausted though...I stayed up texting with a few friends. Then decided to crash early - he kept peeking over at me.
The love is there...but what to do now....
THAT MORNING:
Jimmy and I took the morning to get court related issues handled. We agreed upon going to The Breakfast Shoppe to enjoy his 'last meal' before the potential of going to jail because of his license issue. Over breakfast - we talked about a bunch of random things.
Ultimately - it led to a conversation about our relationship.
He told me - if I was to ask him back out - he'd possibly say yes. He also said, he was afraid things would change...in general terms - he claimed I may not stay as 'cool' as I am now or that we'd have to force ourselves to move in again. I explained I wanted the opposite. It'd be best to not live together again - not until we fully decide to commit. He commented, "You basically already do". I nodded - since every night...minus maybe 2 or 3 instances where he just didnt come home - We've spent the night together. I also explained - its different because he's now "purchased" all our old shared furniture or my old stuff. Everything that physically belongs to me - other than some clothes - is at my mom's place.
I told him - nothing of mine 'lives' there, for the sheer reasoning of..we dont know where we are right now.
I brought up our intimacy from the night prior. Explaining - he kissed me for a good fifteen straight minutes...and in such a way - that people in passionate love would kiss. He nodded and said he felt that too. The connection between us has been so hard to grasp and understand.
My head was starting to swirl...questioning everything we had been doing.
I called him out. Explaining he chose to use his 'relaxation methods' as an excuse to make a move and take things somewhere. He laughed and said, he knows. I told him its something I can see past. Something I wish he wouldnt feel necessary, but at the same time, its half a compliment - half an insult.
We enjoyed our breakfast - barely surviving it.
I lightly joked about the fact that he had been so cute and intimate with me overnight and into today. He just kinda laughed and made a silent note of it.
Court went well - we decided to see his mom afterwards. It was my Dad's birthday - and we were doing crabs and porkchops for dinner. He had already mentioned he was exhausted and needed a nap - but for some reason - he said he'd definitely go. We even went back to get the pups and he played some MLB. He was extremely talkative and enjoyed being around my whole family.
It gave me the twinge of pain - realizing....this is what I want. Happy moments, memories and someone to be there alongside of me. We stayed pretty late - til it was time to go to watch the Finals game at our place.
We got in - and flipped between video games and the Finals. I was pretty exhausted though...I stayed up texting with a few friends. Then decided to crash early - he kept peeking over at me.
The love is there...but what to do now....
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